By definition, narcissism is a medical condition known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD. Narcissism is medically described as a condition where the person is suffering a sense of grandiosity, also showing no empathy for others and only looking for admiration from the general crowd.
Typically a narcissist will be someone who reflects arrogance, manipulation, self-importance, and manipulation. Narcissists like to feel dominant over others, keeping a small circle of people close to them.
At the same time, narcissists may be full of confidence, but deep down, it is all about creating the illusion of dominance.
In fact, narcissists are quite fragile in their emotions and remain afraid that they could be exposed in front of others as a result. Even so, living or socializing with a narcissist is not easy and can cause serious strain on your emotional health.
Therefore, let’s go deeper into the philosophy of a narcissistic behavior and learn how to deal with these emotional vampires adequately.
Why Narcissists Have Troubling Relationships?
Intimacy is not known to narcissists, and they will do anything to detach themselves from it. Let’s have a look at the reasons behind this behavior.
1. Narcissists have trouble trusting
Intimate relationships scare narcissists as they feel vulnerable and exposed. Therefore, you cannot expect a full commitment on their behalf nor an emotional expression of their feelings.
2. They are nitpickers
If a narcissist feels threatened for some reason (usually a non-existent one), they will try to start the fight over the littlest things. They are not afraid to step over the line and make you feel guilty, just so they can feel better about themselves.
3. Narcissists are abusive
Although it may only be an emotional abuse they are reflecting, narcissists are able to suck out the liveliness and positivity out of any situation they disapprove.
As they also lack empathy, narcissistic men can be even physically abusive, in an effort to take control of the situation.
4. No sense of togetherness
Narcissists don’t think about ‘us’ as a concept, but rather ‘me’. Only tending to their own wishes and desires, narcissists won’t play along or support their partner if they feel the odds are not working in their favor.
In addition, being unable to show empathy will have a narcissist build a wall between themselves and their partner…on purpose.
5. They struggle to make a relationship work
It is common for a narcissist to run a smooth relationship. They have no visible emotional specter and can drain the other person of all positivity a relationship delivers.
They are looking at a relationship as their safety blanket and are not afraid to manipulate their partner to turn the tides in their favor.
Because of this, some partners try to heal a narcissists by sticking in the relationship, failing to understand not much can be fixed or amended in it- it’s just the way narcissists think and behave.
How to Confront a Narcissist?
If you are determined to make a relationship with a narcissist work, here is how you can handle them with ease.
1. Understand who they really are
Before you get hurt in the relationship, you need to understand that this is the person you are with. That said, if a narcissist lies and deceives others, chances are they will do the same to you. So, with narcissists, it is more about adjusting in the relationship, than trying to change them.
2. Shift your focus
Instead of indulging a narcissistic behavior, you should try to make yourself happy instead. It is unfruitful to think a narcissist will change their ways, and you will never get the credit you want in the relationship.
Because of this, if you do stick in a relationship with this person, don’t put them front and center in your life…just like they would do.
3. Stand up for yourself
It is no good to let a narcissist tire you with their damaging behavior. Speaking up and stating your concerns is the best method to use when dealing with a narcissistic attitude.
Still, in doing so, keep a steady and calm tone, so things don’t get out of hand. Yes, you can expect a narcissist to fight back, that’s for sure.
4. Define boundaries
When in a relationship with a narcissists, it is important you know your limits and share them with your partner, too.
You are not obliged to endure anyone’s erratic behavior and you are free to walk away from that mess whenever you please. Let this be heard loud and clear so your partner knows when they are crossing a red line.
5. Expect resistance
When dealing with a narcissistic behavior, it is important you are ready to push back. Narcissist will try to get to you by making you feel guilty, but it is up to you to teach them to take you seriously.
6. Don’t put the blame on you
Even if for peace-sake, never step out of your comfort zone to comfort a narcissist. More often than not, these people enjoy sucking out your positivity, turning you into a complying partner, despite your displeasure.